Warning: This article contains discussion of suicide which some readers may find distressing
I had been in denial about my depression and anxiety. The isolation of the Covid-19 lockdowns was perfect for entrenching a harmful internal narrative of being worthless; a narrative built upon a lack of confidence in who I was.
My ex leaving me inflamed my sense of unworthiness, and I burned out trying to become a someone I thought was worthy of love.
The last-minute Christmas lockdown isolated me in my despair and I descended into suicidal thoughts.
Suicidal thoughts were a dark and commanding voice telling me I was worthless, unloveable, and that I should end my life. It drowned out any rational voice.
James during his walk of Great Britain in Carmarthenshire, Wales (Supplied)When you are isolated with depressive thoughts, your internal narrative negatively warps your self-perception. I managed to tell my brother I was going through some 'pretty dark times' and the resulting conversation helped me realise I was loved, something I had been blinded to.
I later reached out to a friend who’d told me about his suicidal ideation, which made me feel comfortable talking. It’s why sharing our stories is so important, to ensure others don’t feel isolated with their own.
I was so grateful to be alive on Christmas Day. Those suicidal thoughts terrified me enough to accept I was mentally unwell.
Improving my diet, exercise and sleep were a huge factor in my recovery, but making time for doing things I loved that were forms of self-expression was just as important.
Walking along St Cyrus beach, Aberdeenshire (Supplied)
Pursuing my passion for being outdoors, of writing and drawing, encouraged me to commit to an old dream that would give me the space to do them full-time; to walk the coast of Great Britain.
On 3 October, 2022, I set out to walk the entire coast of Great Britain for the mental health charity that helped me.
I decided to walk for Mind, to litter pick the coast as I walked, and document the journey through photography, writing and drawing. All of my efforts were to raise awareness for mental health, and to show that the best of our lives is ahead of us. It would transform my life.
It was set to be a year-long, 6,600 mile journey around the coast, taking in the national three peaks. The walk began and ended from my home, but it would change the direction of my life entirely.
Pursuing my passion for being outdoors, of writing and drawing, encouraged me to commit to an old dream that would give me the space to do them full-time; to walk the coast of Great Britain.
On 3 October, 2022, I set out to walk the entire coast of Great Britain for the mental health charity that helped me.
I decided to walk for Mind, to litter pick the coast as I walked, and document the journey through photography, writing and drawing. All of my efforts were to raise awareness for mental health, and to show that the best of our lives is ahead of us. It would transform my life.
It was set to be a year-long, 6,600 mile journey around the coast, taking in the national three peaks. The walk began and ended from my home, but it would change the direction of my life entirely.
A map of my route, as recorded on Strava (Supplied)
It was the hardest things I’ve done, from walking south from Wales through winter to the pathless Scottish coastline.
Sometimes there was seven days between food shops, and I continuously ran out of food.
The groundsheet of my trusty tent began to leak on the third night, and then tore open later while I moved it to safety in a storm. It continued falling apart for three months of winter storms and ice, until I met a man in a Cornish pub who offered to buy me a new one.
I was so grateful for his help, and the hundreds of others who housed me, fed me, and washed my clothes. I couldn’t have done it without their help.
Walking for a mental health charity, people felt comfortable talking about their struggles. It encouraged me to open up about my crisis three years earlier.
It was the hardest things I’ve done, from walking south from Wales through winter to the pathless Scottish coastline.
Sometimes there was seven days between food shops, and I continuously ran out of food.
The groundsheet of my trusty tent began to leak on the third night, and then tore open later while I moved it to safety in a storm. It continued falling apart for three months of winter storms and ice, until I met a man in a Cornish pub who offered to buy me a new one.
I was so grateful for his help, and the hundreds of others who housed me, fed me, and washed my clothes. I couldn’t have done it without their help.
Walking for a mental health charity, people felt comfortable talking about their struggles. It encouraged me to open up about my crisis three years earlier.
The mountains of Torridon, Scotland reflected in the sea loch below (Supplied)
I intuitively felt it was the right path for me, and to ignore that call felt like submitting to a life of expectations I had been trying to escape.
Suicidal ideation was a common experience among the people I met, and I would be confronted with the mental crisis encountering a woman about to take her life.
I had been walking for four months when our paths crossed on the south coast. It was early morning, and she was the only other person there.
I thought she was taking photos like me until she moved into a precarious position a little distance from me.
I waved at her to let her know I had seen her, but when she waved back and stayed put, I knew something was wrong.
I was walking the coast to prevent people from reaching crisis but I wasn’t prepared to stop someone ending their life. But I had to try, and walked over, trying to remain calm.
I intuitively felt it was the right path for me, and to ignore that call felt like submitting to a life of expectations I had been trying to escape.
Suicidal ideation was a common experience among the people I met, and I would be confronted with the mental crisis encountering a woman about to take her life.
I had been walking for four months when our paths crossed on the south coast. It was early morning, and she was the only other person there.
I thought she was taking photos like me until she moved into a precarious position a little distance from me.
I waved at her to let her know I had seen her, but when she waved back and stayed put, I knew something was wrong.
I was walking the coast to prevent people from reaching crisis but I wasn’t prepared to stop someone ending their life. But I had to try, and walked over, trying to remain calm.
James taking in the view of the Assynt coastline, Scotland (Supplied)
Looking back, it seemed absurd to ask 'Are you okay?' to someone who was clearly suicidal, and she told me her plan to end her life.
Her voice was strangled with terror. Her eyes were pleading like she was passenger to what she was about to do.
I told her she didn’t have to do it, to come to safety, that it could get better. She just wanted her pain to end, and she was deaf to my banalities.
I didn’t know how to explain to her this wasn’t what she wanted, that the feeling would pass, that the story in her head wasn’t reality. My brain called for a torrent of words that clogged my throat and knotted my brain.
It was too much pressure to save a life, but I understood how she felt.
I told her, 'I know how it feels', and that connection disrupted her suicidal intent long enough for her to come to safety. She remained actively suicidal, and I was lucky that a local crisis unit and later emergency services intervened. I stayed with her until she was taken away to receive help.
Before she left, she said: “I liked when you waved at me, that was nice.”
Looking back, it seemed absurd to ask 'Are you okay?' to someone who was clearly suicidal, and she told me her plan to end her life.
Her voice was strangled with terror. Her eyes were pleading like she was passenger to what she was about to do.
I told her she didn’t have to do it, to come to safety, that it could get better. She just wanted her pain to end, and she was deaf to my banalities.
I didn’t know how to explain to her this wasn’t what she wanted, that the feeling would pass, that the story in her head wasn’t reality. My brain called for a torrent of words that clogged my throat and knotted my brain.
It was too much pressure to save a life, but I understood how she felt.
I told her, 'I know how it feels', and that connection disrupted her suicidal intent long enough for her to come to safety. She remained actively suicidal, and I was lucky that a local crisis unit and later emergency services intervened. I stayed with her until she was taken away to receive help.
Before she left, she said: “I liked when you waved at me, that was nice.”
Parliaments of sea birds at RSPB Scotland Fowlsheugh, Aberdeenshire (Supplied)
I burst into tears walking away from her, gasping for air like I had been holding my breath for an hour.
I felt hollowed out with grief, and it took me a long time to shake the feeling I had failed her. I had prevented her death, but she was still suicidal when we parted ways. I would never see her again.
In 2022, 5,642 suicides were registered in England and Wales. one in 15 people in the UK will attempt suicide and one in five will experience suicidal thoughts in their lifetime.
These figures are only what we see of a national mental health iceberg. The endemic poor mental health that results in suicidal intent is what we don’t see below the surface. We need to work towards recognising the signs in ourselves and others.
After the event, I found myself drinking alone in Wetherspoons and going on Tinder. I stopped once I realised it was an attempt to numb the pain, and instead opened myself to feeling it so I could let it go. I returned to my self-care practice.
I burst into tears walking away from her, gasping for air like I had been holding my breath for an hour.
I felt hollowed out with grief, and it took me a long time to shake the feeling I had failed her. I had prevented her death, but she was still suicidal when we parted ways. I would never see her again.
In 2022, 5,642 suicides were registered in England and Wales. one in 15 people in the UK will attempt suicide and one in five will experience suicidal thoughts in their lifetime.
These figures are only what we see of a national mental health iceberg. The endemic poor mental health that results in suicidal intent is what we don’t see below the surface. We need to work towards recognising the signs in ourselves and others.
After the event, I found myself drinking alone in Wetherspoons and going on Tinder. I stopped once I realised it was an attempt to numb the pain, and instead opened myself to feeling it so I could let it go. I returned to my self-care practice.
Day one and the final day walking the coast (Supplied)
Seeing someone suicidal surfaced a deeply rooted grief for my younger self gripped by that same dark compulsion years earlier. It was a grief that had disguised itself as an anger for my ex, who, by coincidence, moved to the Scottish coast while I walked.
It was surreal to meet my ex on my journey. Her leaving me had been the catalyst for my spiral, but if she hadn’t, neither of us would have been sitting there in an Inverness cafe, much happier. She was sorry, and through my forgiveness we finally found closure for a time stricken with mental health difficulties.
Shortly after, as I sat out a storm in Cape Wrath’s Kearvaig bothy, I got a message from a woman called Abi asking me out.
Abi had offered a free breakfast at the cafe where she worked months earlier, and while I was eating, she talked about birds she knew nothing about, then hid out of embarrassment.
Seeing someone suicidal surfaced a deeply rooted grief for my younger self gripped by that same dark compulsion years earlier. It was a grief that had disguised itself as an anger for my ex, who, by coincidence, moved to the Scottish coast while I walked.
It was surreal to meet my ex on my journey. Her leaving me had been the catalyst for my spiral, but if she hadn’t, neither of us would have been sitting there in an Inverness cafe, much happier. She was sorry, and through my forgiveness we finally found closure for a time stricken with mental health difficulties.
Shortly after, as I sat out a storm in Cape Wrath’s Kearvaig bothy, I got a message from a woman called Abi asking me out.
Abi had offered a free breakfast at the cafe where she worked months earlier, and while I was eating, she talked about birds she knew nothing about, then hid out of embarrassment.
Kearvaig Bothy, Cape Wrath Peninsula, Scotland (Supplied)
In that brief meeting I thought: “There’s someone I could share my life with.”
She had a three-year-old daughter, so I assumed she was taken, and she thought I would be uninterested.
We began talking and quickly fell in love. We discussed what our relationship would mean, and how I would become a father figure to her daughter.
What had seemed impossible in my despair now seemed so natural. I couldn’t have known self-care would open me to becoming a father. We now live happily as a family.
If I had listened to those suicidal thoughts, I wouldn’t have walked the coast, met Abi, found closure, raised over £21,300 for Mind, or saved a life. I later discovered the suicidal woman made a full recovery.
In that brief meeting I thought: “There’s someone I could share my life with.”
She had a three-year-old daughter, so I assumed she was taken, and she thought I would be uninterested.
We began talking and quickly fell in love. We discussed what our relationship would mean, and how I would become a father figure to her daughter.
What had seemed impossible in my despair now seemed so natural. I couldn’t have known self-care would open me to becoming a father. We now live happily as a family.
If I had listened to those suicidal thoughts, I wouldn’t have walked the coast, met Abi, found closure, raised over £21,300 for Mind, or saved a life. I later discovered the suicidal woman made a full recovery.
James celebrating walking around the entire coast of Great Britain (Supplied)
Speaking on BBC Radio 2 about my journey with the Reverend Kate Bottley, she caught me off guard by saying: “I’m so glad you’re still with us.”
I’m glad, too.
It might not always feel like it, but the best of our lives are always ahead of us. It’s incredible how far we can go when we look after ourselves and accept help from others.
You can donate to James’ Mind Walk here. You can follow James here. You can read James’ blog about the walk here.
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, please don’t suffer alone. Call Samaritans for free on their anonymous 24-hour phone line on 116 123.Featured Image Credit: Supplied
Published 19:30 3 May 2024 GMT+1
Experts reveal the impact of celibacy on both your physical and mental health
So, you're not getting it on... here's what that's doing to do.
So you've clicked on this article to learn about the physical and mental impact of celibacy, first things first my condolences for your sex life not going how you were hoping.
Unless, of course, you're wanting to remain celibate, in which case you do you.
Anyhow, you came here to learn about what not having sex does to your mind and body, and there's been a study on over 17,000 people where exactly that has been measured.
First off, the good news as the information shows that people who aren't getting any still tend to show 'very similar happiness levels as their sexually active counterparts.
So, that's nice.
However, there's still more to it as the experts dug deeper into what having sex or not having it did for your health.
Getting physical can have an impact on your physical health. (Getty Stock Photo)
Let's start with the physical consequences of not getting physical, staying celibate is unlikely to be a negative thing for your health.
On the other hand, in the right context, sex can be a very healthy thing for you to do and the absence of it from your life could mean you're missing out on some benefits, if you know what I mean.
I am, of course, referring to the data that shows regular sex leads to a boost in your immune system, lower blood pressure, a drop in stress levels and greater cardiovascular health.
Some of these benefits you can umm... handle solo, with figures from a 2016 study indicating that blokes who blow their load at least 21 times a month have lower risk of prostate cancer than men who only managed it between four and seven times in 30 days.
Meanwhile, for women frequent sexual activity can help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles which can prevent incontinence, so celibacy could see you running the risk of that.
There are also some more obvious benefits, as if you're not having sex then you're not really at risk of sexually transmitted infections.
It's not going to be good for your mental health if you don't want to do it. (Getty Stock Photo)
As for what's cloggin' up your noggin, the mental health impact of celibacy has much to do with how welcome an extended period of not doing the horizontal bop is.
Many who want to be having sex but aren't don't feel great about themselves, which can lead to some rather problematic behaviours to say the least.
Negative impacts on mental health can also result in physical consequences.
For people who are in a relationship where the sex like is moribund, experts have warned that this can make people feel 'insecure and anxious', and the best remedy for that is an honest discussion about where you're at.
On the other hand, people who would prefer not to have sex because they don't want to are more likely to see a boost to their mental health from not partaking in rumpy-pumpy.
There are also times when a person needs to work through their feelings about sex, and a period of time not having sex can help them do this.Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Published 12:44 18 Apr 2024 GMT+1
Richard Osman opens up on heartbreaking 40-year addiction after father left as a child
Richard Osman has spoken up about something that most men avoid talking about
Richard Osman has candidly spoken about an addiction that has plagued him for over 40 years.
The British author confessed that he has struggled with it since he was just nine years old, coinciding with the time that his father left the family, following an affair.
Admitting that the problem was an 'ever-present' in his life, the writer and TV presenter told Elizabeth Day's How To Fail podcast: "By and large, addiction is running away from your pain."
Richard Osman was candid about his addiction. (David Levenson/Getty Images)
Osman revealed that his addiction was with food, and said he has constantly struggled with overeating throughout his teen and adult years.
The 53-year-old began: "It's so ridiculous, this food stuff.
"Alcoholics will tell you the same, like it's absurd that there's a bottle of vodka in front of you or there's a packet of crisps in front of you and it's more powerful than you. It makes no sense."
Osman also said that a lot of the problem lies with people in this world, and how judgemental they can be, saying that everyone is 'crazy' in different ways.
He also told Day that people that approach him about the issue are all women, who say that their male partners relate to it, but would never have talked about it if not for Osman's admission.
The TV personality labelled his relationship with food and his weight as the 'drum beat' of his life, tracing the issue back to the moment that his father walked out on the family.
Speaking on BBC Radio 2 about my journey with the Reverend Kate Bottley, she caught me off guard by saying: “I’m so glad you’re still with us.”
I’m glad, too.
It might not always feel like it, but the best of our lives are always ahead of us. It’s incredible how far we can go when we look after ourselves and accept help from others.
You can donate to James’ Mind Walk here. You can follow James here. You can read James’ blog about the walk here.
If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence, please don’t suffer alone. Call Samaritans for free on their anonymous 24-hour phone line on 116 123.Featured Image Credit: Supplied
Published 19:30 3 May 2024 GMT+1
Experts reveal the impact of celibacy on both your physical and mental health
So, you're not getting it on... here's what that's doing to do.
So you've clicked on this article to learn about the physical and mental impact of celibacy, first things first my condolences for your sex life not going how you were hoping.
Unless, of course, you're wanting to remain celibate, in which case you do you.
Anyhow, you came here to learn about what not having sex does to your mind and body, and there's been a study on over 17,000 people where exactly that has been measured.
First off, the good news as the information shows that people who aren't getting any still tend to show 'very similar happiness levels as their sexually active counterparts.
So, that's nice.
However, there's still more to it as the experts dug deeper into what having sex or not having it did for your health.
Getting physical can have an impact on your physical health. (Getty Stock Photo)Let's start with the physical consequences of not getting physical, staying celibate is unlikely to be a negative thing for your health.
On the other hand, in the right context, sex can be a very healthy thing for you to do and the absence of it from your life could mean you're missing out on some benefits, if you know what I mean.
I am, of course, referring to the data that shows regular sex leads to a boost in your immune system, lower blood pressure, a drop in stress levels and greater cardiovascular health.
Some of these benefits you can umm... handle solo, with figures from a 2016 study indicating that blokes who blow their load at least 21 times a month have lower risk of prostate cancer than men who only managed it between four and seven times in 30 days.
Meanwhile, for women frequent sexual activity can help strengthen the pelvic floor muscles which can prevent incontinence, so celibacy could see you running the risk of that.
There are also some more obvious benefits, as if you're not having sex then you're not really at risk of sexually transmitted infections.
It's not going to be good for your mental health if you don't want to do it. (Getty Stock Photo)As for what's cloggin' up your noggin, the mental health impact of celibacy has much to do with how welcome an extended period of not doing the horizontal bop is.
Many who want to be having sex but aren't don't feel great about themselves, which can lead to some rather problematic behaviours to say the least.
Negative impacts on mental health can also result in physical consequences.
For people who are in a relationship where the sex like is moribund, experts have warned that this can make people feel 'insecure and anxious', and the best remedy for that is an honest discussion about where you're at.
On the other hand, people who would prefer not to have sex because they don't want to are more likely to see a boost to their mental health from not partaking in rumpy-pumpy.
There are also times when a person needs to work through their feelings about sex, and a period of time not having sex can help them do this.Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Images
Published 12:44 18 Apr 2024 GMT+1
Richard Osman opens up on heartbreaking 40-year addiction after father left as a child
Richard Osman has spoken up about something that most men avoid talking about
Richard Osman has candidly spoken about an addiction that has plagued him for over 40 years.
The British author confessed that he has struggled with it since he was just nine years old, coinciding with the time that his father left the family, following an affair.
Admitting that the problem was an 'ever-present' in his life, the writer and TV presenter told Elizabeth Day's How To Fail podcast: "By and large, addiction is running away from your pain."
Richard Osman was candid about his addiction. (David Levenson/Getty Images)Osman revealed that his addiction was with food, and said he has constantly struggled with overeating throughout his teen and adult years.
The 53-year-old began: "It's so ridiculous, this food stuff.
"Alcoholics will tell you the same, like it's absurd that there's a bottle of vodka in front of you or there's a packet of crisps in front of you and it's more powerful than you. It makes no sense."
Osman also said that a lot of the problem lies with people in this world, and how judgemental they can be, saying that everyone is 'crazy' in different ways.
He also told Day that people that approach him about the issue are all women, who say that their male partners relate to it, but would never have talked about it if not for Osman's admission.
The TV personality labelled his relationship with food and his weight as the 'drum beat' of his life, tracing the issue back to the moment that his father walked out on the family.
The author admitted he struggled with overeating throughout his teen and adult years. (Getty/Karwai Tang/WireImage)
Osman continued: "I was in a lot of pain, clearly, but do you know what, I was nine, ten.
"I don't want to be in pain particularly, I don't want to miss my dad, I want to go, 'this is okay, everything's fine'."
He said that the more than you deny the truth, the further the leap you have to make later on in life to make it back.
Talking about his recovery, Osman admitted that he started therapy later in life, and though he has relapses, he knows how to cope with it and not let it get the better of him.
He said: "I don't have any personal shame any more. Addiction is shame.
"You'll over-eat, you'll feel shame about that. Shame makes you over-eat. It's a spiral.
"So you have to learn to absolutely just cut it off at the source, and if you do feel shame, just to go, 'that's all right' because shame leads to more shame. I have to accept that it's not embarrassing."
Osman continued: "I was in a lot of pain, clearly, but do you know what, I was nine, ten.
"I don't want to be in pain particularly, I don't want to miss my dad, I want to go, 'this is okay, everything's fine'."
He said that the more than you deny the truth, the further the leap you have to make later on in life to make it back.
Talking about his recovery, Osman admitted that he started therapy later in life, and though he has relapses, he knows how to cope with it and not let it get the better of him.
He said: "I don't have any personal shame any more. Addiction is shame.
"You'll over-eat, you'll feel shame about that. Shame makes you over-eat. It's a spiral.
"So you have to learn to absolutely just cut it off at the source, and if you do feel shame, just to go, 'that's all right' because shame leads to more shame. I have to accept that it's not embarrassing."
He has traced the addiction back to when his father left the family following an affair. (Joe Maher/Getty Images)
During an appearance on Radio 4's Desert Island Discs, Osman talked about when his father left, saying: "My father left when I was quite young, when I was about nine. And that was probably the end of that innocence, I suspect."
He would travel by coach to see his father, who moved from Sussex to Rugby, but cut the relationship off after a while.
Osman made up with his father after he himself had children in his twenties.
Despite the fact that he is still coping with his addiction 'non-stop', he said it's so frequent that it's not even noticeable, and he's either in control or he's not.
If you've been affected by any of the issues in this article and would like to speak with someone in confidence, call the BEAT Eating Disorders helpline on 0808 801 0677. Helplines are open 365 days a year from 9am–8pm during the week, and 4pm–8pm on weekends and bank holidays. Alternatively, you can try the one-to-one webchatFeatured Image Credit: Karwai Tang/WireImage/Getty Images/David Levenson / Getty Images
Updated 16:53 7 Jun 2024 GMT+1Published 16:06 24 Jun 2022 GMT+1
Eddie Hall Breaks Down Reflecting On Suicidal Thoughts As Teenager
In the build up to his fight with Thor, the former World's Strongest Man opened up about fighting his own mental health demons
*WARNING: ARTICLE CONTAINS REFERENCES TO SUICIDE*
Eddie Hall broke down in tears reflecting on the suicidal thoughts that plagued him as a young teenager. Watch here:
In 2017, Hall achieved his 'lifelong dream' of becoming the World's Strongest Man - a feat that takes gargantuan amounts of talent, power, dedication and fight.
In truth though, Hall has always been a fighter, not just in the world of Strongman. He recently competed in an actual fight against fellow WSM winner Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, but long before all of this 'The Beast' had to come out on top in his own battles with suicidal thoughts.
In a new BBC documentary charting the build up to 'the heaviest boxing match in history', the 34-year-old was reduced to tears as he opened up about his struggles with anxiety and depression growing up.
BBC
"I had a bit of a downfall," he said.
"I started suffering with quite bad bouts of depression and anxiety, from say age 12, 13, onwards. Everything and everyone just imploded around me."
He continued: "I think it was just such a dark, lonely point in my life. I mean, for a 13-year-old kid to be wanting to kill himself - for such a long time.
"Two years of putting on a brave face and pretending there's no problems."
BBC
Eddie Hall: The Beast Vs The Mountain - made by Louis Theroux's production company, Mindhouse - explores the origins of the beef between the friends turned foes, and the impact of their fight on the Hall family.
A synopsis reads: "With exclusive and intimate access to Eddie and his family in the months leading up to the fight and at the main event itself, Eddie Hall: The Beast vs The Mountain follows the highs and lows, and all the laughs and tears, as Eddie balances a young family with a punishing and obsessively strict training regime, all the while battling to keep his mental health in check.
"But this is not just about a present day grudge match between two giants. This is also a look back at Eddie's personal story: that of a young man who struggled with serious mental health issues but who found a way to deal with this through extreme forms of exercise.
"It's also the story of what happens when you dedicate your life to a single cause, to the point of obsession and the effect that has, both positive and negative, on those closest to you."
Eddie Hall: The Beast Vs The Mountain premieres on BBC Three and iPlayer on Sunday (26 June) at 9pm.
Here's a list of the leading mental health helplines and services that are just a call away in the UK:
- Samaritans are there 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and will talk to you about anything that's bothering you. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Welsh Language Line on 0300 164 0123 from 7pm to 11pm every day.
- The Mix take calls from under 25s on 0808 808 4994 from seven days a week from 3pm to 12am. You can request support by email using the form on The Mix website or using their crisis text messenger service.
- Papyrus HOPELINEUK is there for under 35s struggling with suicidal feelings, or those who are concerned about a young person who might be struggling. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 every day from 9am to 12am. You can also email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07860 039 967.
- The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) caters specifically to males on 0800 58 58 58 from 5pm to midnight every day. Alternatively, you can use their webchat service.
- The Nightline website allows students to see if their university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.
- Switchboard is there for people who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender and can be reached on 0300 330 0630 from 10am to 10pm every day. You can also email here or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.
- The Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L). is available for those who live in Wales and can be contacted on 0800 132 737, which is open 24/7. You can also text 'help' followed by a question to 81066.Featured Image Credit: BBC
Updated 16:51 3 Nov 2022 GMTPublished 16:30 3 Nov 2022 GMT
Wife of man who died the ‘worst possible death’ still trolled 13 years on
The wife of a man who died the 'worst possible death' has spoken out against the trolling her family have continued to receive 13 years on.
The wife of a man who died the 'worst possible death' has spoken out against the trolling her family have continued to receive 13 years on.
On 24 November, 2009, John Edward Jones tragically passed away while exploring a hydrothermal cave in Utah known as 'Nutty Putty cave'.
John left behind his wife, Emily Jones Sanchez, and their two children.
Emily has since spoken out about the online abuse she's continued to face for moving on with her life.
Jones Family Handout
John had been exploring the cave with his brother but got stuck in a narrow tunnel.
He was stuck for over 25 hours, and because of the pressure his body was under and the position he was in, sadly couldn't be safely rescued.
The rescue team weren't even able to reach his body, so the cave was closed down and sealed off around Jones' body and turned into a memorial for the father.
@RockyMtnCaving/ Twitter
Emily has since remarried and gone on to have two more children.
However, despite it being over 10 years since John passed away, the mother has faced continuous online abuse on her Facebook page.
"JOHN WAS BETTER ! RIP JOHN IF I WAS YOUR WIFE I WOULD HAVE NEVER MOVED ON SOO SOON AND WOULD BE SHARING YOUR STORY AND LIFE. AND POSTING ABOUT YOU," one user wrote on a post Emily shared on 6 March, 2020.
Another comment reads: "Is that John on ur profile picture? Or is it another man I’m genuinely confused I swear John past away."
A third user said: "Just saw the movie of the story of John. Just wondering, when you die and go to heaven, who will you be with? It breaks my heart how easily people focus on happiness in this earthly life instead of holding on and wait to be re-united."
In an interview with Deseret News, Emily spoke out against the online abuse and stuck up for her new marriage, noting it's 'never been hard to talk about John' to her second husband Donovan Sanchez.
"It’s never been hard to remember John," she said. "Ever since the very beginning, ever since I first met Donovan, he’s been really comfortable with John continuing to be a part of our family and our lives, especially because of our kids.
"He just knows that the kids need to remember their dad so he’s good about wanting to stay in touch with the Joneses and he loves the Joneses."
Despite some nasty comments, others have been quick to defend Emily and her family.
One user wrote: "I hope she does not read these comments… and i hope none of u have to go through what she has in her life. loosing someone is hard enough and going through a pregnancy on ur own having to look at those kids everyday knowing what happened to their dad. having a film made about it.
"You may not agree with her choices but you don’t pay her bills feed her kids or now her grass… john loved her and she loved him. so just maybe he sent someone to help her get through it… it’s not easy to go through life on a good day so give it up… i hope she is every bit happy and blessed and the same to her beautiful children."
During an appearance on Radio 4's Desert Island Discs, Osman talked about when his father left, saying: "My father left when I was quite young, when I was about nine. And that was probably the end of that innocence, I suspect."
He would travel by coach to see his father, who moved from Sussex to Rugby, but cut the relationship off after a while.
Osman made up with his father after he himself had children in his twenties.
Despite the fact that he is still coping with his addiction 'non-stop', he said it's so frequent that it's not even noticeable, and he's either in control or he's not.
If you've been affected by any of the issues in this article and would like to speak with someone in confidence, call the BEAT Eating Disorders helpline on 0808 801 0677. Helplines are open 365 days a year from 9am–8pm during the week, and 4pm–8pm on weekends and bank holidays. Alternatively, you can try the one-to-one webchatFeatured Image Credit: Karwai Tang/WireImage/Getty Images/David Levenson / Getty Images
Updated 16:53 7 Jun 2024 GMT+1Published 16:06 24 Jun 2022 GMT+1
Eddie Hall Breaks Down Reflecting On Suicidal Thoughts As Teenager
In the build up to his fight with Thor, the former World's Strongest Man opened up about fighting his own mental health demons
*WARNING: ARTICLE CONTAINS REFERENCES TO SUICIDE*
Eddie Hall broke down in tears reflecting on the suicidal thoughts that plagued him as a young teenager. Watch here:
In 2017, Hall achieved his 'lifelong dream' of becoming the World's Strongest Man - a feat that takes gargantuan amounts of talent, power, dedication and fight.
In truth though, Hall has always been a fighter, not just in the world of Strongman. He recently competed in an actual fight against fellow WSM winner Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, but long before all of this 'The Beast' had to come out on top in his own battles with suicidal thoughts.
In a new BBC documentary charting the build up to 'the heaviest boxing match in history', the 34-year-old was reduced to tears as he opened up about his struggles with anxiety and depression growing up.
BBC"I had a bit of a downfall," he said.
"I started suffering with quite bad bouts of depression and anxiety, from say age 12, 13, onwards. Everything and everyone just imploded around me."
He continued: "I think it was just such a dark, lonely point in my life. I mean, for a 13-year-old kid to be wanting to kill himself - for such a long time.
"Two years of putting on a brave face and pretending there's no problems."
BBCEddie Hall: The Beast Vs The Mountain - made by Louis Theroux's production company, Mindhouse - explores the origins of the beef between the friends turned foes, and the impact of their fight on the Hall family.
A synopsis reads: "With exclusive and intimate access to Eddie and his family in the months leading up to the fight and at the main event itself, Eddie Hall: The Beast vs The Mountain follows the highs and lows, and all the laughs and tears, as Eddie balances a young family with a punishing and obsessively strict training regime, all the while battling to keep his mental health in check.
"But this is not just about a present day grudge match between two giants. This is also a look back at Eddie's personal story: that of a young man who struggled with serious mental health issues but who found a way to deal with this through extreme forms of exercise.
"It's also the story of what happens when you dedicate your life to a single cause, to the point of obsession and the effect that has, both positive and negative, on those closest to you."
Eddie Hall: The Beast Vs The Mountain premieres on BBC Three and iPlayer on Sunday (26 June) at 9pm.
Here's a list of the leading mental health helplines and services that are just a call away in the UK:
- Samaritans are there 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and will talk to you about anything that's bothering you. You can call 116 123 (free from any phone), email jo@samaritans.org or visit some branches in person. You can also call the Welsh Language Line on 0300 164 0123 from 7pm to 11pm every day.
- The Mix take calls from under 25s on 0808 808 4994 from seven days a week from 3pm to 12am. You can request support by email using the form on The Mix website or using their crisis text messenger service.
- Papyrus HOPELINEUK is there for under 35s struggling with suicidal feelings, or those who are concerned about a young person who might be struggling. You can call them on 0800 068 4141 every day from 9am to 12am. You can also email pat@papyrus-uk.org or text 07860 039 967.
- The Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) caters specifically to males on 0800 58 58 58 from 5pm to midnight every day. Alternatively, you can use their webchat service.
- The Nightline website allows students to see if their university or college offers a night-time listening service. Nightline phone operators are all students too.
- Switchboard is there for people who identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender and can be reached on 0300 330 0630 from 10am to 10pm every day. You can also email here or use their webchat service. Phone operators all identify as LGBT+.
- The Community Advice and Listening Line (C.A.L.L). is available for those who live in Wales and can be contacted on 0800 132 737, which is open 24/7. You can also text 'help' followed by a question to 81066.Featured Image Credit: BBC
Updated 16:51 3 Nov 2022 GMTPublished 16:30 3 Nov 2022 GMT
Wife of man who died the ‘worst possible death’ still trolled 13 years on
The wife of a man who died the 'worst possible death' has spoken out against the trolling her family have continued to receive 13 years on.
The wife of a man who died the 'worst possible death' has spoken out against the trolling her family have continued to receive 13 years on.
On 24 November, 2009, John Edward Jones tragically passed away while exploring a hydrothermal cave in Utah known as 'Nutty Putty cave'.
John left behind his wife, Emily Jones Sanchez, and their two children.
Emily has since spoken out about the online abuse she's continued to face for moving on with her life.
Jones Family HandoutJohn had been exploring the cave with his brother but got stuck in a narrow tunnel.
He was stuck for over 25 hours, and because of the pressure his body was under and the position he was in, sadly couldn't be safely rescued.
The rescue team weren't even able to reach his body, so the cave was closed down and sealed off around Jones' body and turned into a memorial for the father.
@RockyMtnCaving/ TwitterEmily has since remarried and gone on to have two more children.
However, despite it being over 10 years since John passed away, the mother has faced continuous online abuse on her Facebook page.
"JOHN WAS BETTER ! RIP JOHN IF I WAS YOUR WIFE I WOULD HAVE NEVER MOVED ON SOO SOON AND WOULD BE SHARING YOUR STORY AND LIFE. AND POSTING ABOUT YOU," one user wrote on a post Emily shared on 6 March, 2020.
Another comment reads: "Is that John on ur profile picture? Or is it another man I’m genuinely confused I swear John past away."
A third user said: "Just saw the movie of the story of John. Just wondering, when you die and go to heaven, who will you be with? It breaks my heart how easily people focus on happiness in this earthly life instead of holding on and wait to be re-united."
In an interview with Deseret News, Emily spoke out against the online abuse and stuck up for her new marriage, noting it's 'never been hard to talk about John' to her second husband Donovan Sanchez.
"It’s never been hard to remember John," she said. "Ever since the very beginning, ever since I first met Donovan, he’s been really comfortable with John continuing to be a part of our family and our lives, especially because of our kids.
"He just knows that the kids need to remember their dad so he’s good about wanting to stay in touch with the Joneses and he loves the Joneses."
Despite some nasty comments, others have been quick to defend Emily and her family.
One user wrote: "I hope she does not read these comments… and i hope none of u have to go through what she has in her life. loosing someone is hard enough and going through a pregnancy on ur own having to look at those kids everyday knowing what happened to their dad. having a film made about it.
"You may not agree with her choices but you don’t pay her bills feed her kids or now her grass… john loved her and she loved him. so just maybe he sent someone to help her get through it… it’s not easy to go through life on a good day so give it up… i hope she is every bit happy and blessed and the same to her beautiful children."
